I love words…but I hate the word “infertility”…when this word is used in a sentence it creates an internal gag reaction for me. I don’t think anyone sees my heart skip a beat or my stomach knot or my face twitch, but it does. I have struggled with fertility for 29 months now and for me this word “infertility” epitomizes negativity.
I never thought about this word until a year ago when I was referred to Calgary’s “Regional Fertility Program”. When I first walked through the doors and I saw the name I realized that this clinic hasn’t put an “infertility” label on anyone. Instead, this is a place of “anything can happen” and it gave me hope and comfort.
I created this blog because I need to find purpose within this journey I am on. I may not be able to fully understand why I am in this boat yet, but I know it is a gift. A gift of greater understanding and depth that someone who got pregnant without a second thought can never understand. A gift that will allow me to provide support and inspiration to someone else facing this “hope and despair” rollercoaster that many of us cannot get off of yet.
As for the extremely lucky fertile people out there who can get prego sitting next to their person or just thinking about it, appreciate this gift. For this group, I hope this blog will give you a glimpse of why to hold back from asking about a person’s timing on having children or using the word “infertility.” As there is nothing worse than someone catching you off-guard and asking about one of your life’s most painful of experiences.
Bottom line, through this blog I aim to remain more optimistic than negative even if sometimes the optimism is a little uncomfortable.