Vacationing with Elephants

So my husband and I are travelling; a week’s worth of visiting his family and friends on the other side of the country from our day to day. Everyone is happy to see us and is setting aside their regular day to day routines to fit in a visit, dinner or a golf game. On top of it all, the weather is hot and humid and perfect for making us feel like we shouldn’t be doing anything other than sitting with a cold beer on a patio or a golf cart. Summer is officially here!

Our immediate families and friends at home know our struggles of infertility and I know they are ready to cheer us on our next round of IVF later this summer. Many of our friends on this side of the country know we would like to start a family, but have no clue the lengths to which we have tried. With a couple visits down and a few more to go, I can’t help but feel the number of elephants in the room grow with each visit.

Last night we had a lovely dinner and visit with a family of four. Our husbands have been friends since the childhood hockey days and since we got married three years ago this couple of two has grown to four. Several years ago they had asked if we wanted kids, and at the time we were still hopeful for an easy TTC journey…so the answer back then was “that’s the plan”. Now here we are sitting around the dinner table three years later, kids crying and playing, and all we’ve brought to the party is an elephant.  Elephant IF

At one point during dinner, the baby puked and mom had to go change him while the three year old needed dad to take her pee. The two of us sat at the empty dinner table by ourselves with echoes of family chaos upstairs; except of course for the loud breathes of the elephant in the room. When dinner resumed, we tip-toed around many light conversation topics…while I watched the elephant do a tap dance beside the table.

In some ways I wish someone would have just asked the elephant a question so we can share our story, but I feel like no one wants or needs to hear it unless they open the door to the conversation.

Come on, who wants to hear about drugs, dildo-cams, retrieval procedures and failures…golly geeit’s a real crowd pleaser!

Needless to say, the visit was fun…but we didn’t really catch anyone up on our lives. I can’t say I am looking forward to all the elephants that we might be bringing to dinner this week…but at least they don’t eat all the food.

8 thoughts on “Vacationing with Elephants

  1. You wrote this is such a cute way, which made me smile even though their is nothing light about the infertility. I hate that elephant, but as you say, at least he’s not eating all the food. I guess that’s the bonus of lugging him around with us.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks! Made me laugh picturing us carrying this elephant around with us every where. It’s meant to be light hearted… Too much of this depressing. Need to find the lighter moments in it too. 🙂


  2. You’re so cute. You write everything in such a positive way. It’s awesome you have a group of cheerleaders who are cheering you on at home! And despite that huge elephant, sounds like a fun trip.
    Have you found with other relationships, some people don’t know what to say, so say nothing? I work through a variety of emotions with this – thankful for the respect and privacy, and those who don’t assume it’s their place to ask, and then other times feeling those who MUST know something’s up… wondering why they don’t ask, or ask if we need any help or someone to talk to, etc. Then again, I guess most people really don’t know what infertility entails. Maybe I should be glad for the silence? So confusing!
    Have a great rest of your vacay!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I feel the same way! I don’t know if I am thankful they don’t ask or wishing they would. Either way, I would not be happy unless they could say they understood and had dealt with the same things too. No win situation. 😛


  3. Pingback: Miss.Conception Coach Fertility Conference Day 14 – Guest Post, Meet Ally! | 31chances

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s