Well, I made it through another retrieval. And like most of this process, IVF is so much of a different experience going through it a second time. I am no longer naïve about how things will go. I don’t feel like I am carrying a chip on my shoulder, but rather I know the reality of each phase and have peace with the fact that anything can happen.
If you didn’t follow my first round of IVF, you should know as background that we had 13 eggs retrieved. The next day…the balloon was popped when they told me that only one egg was mature of the bunch. After I hung up the phone, I cried that ugly cry with crocodile tears and my husband did his best to console me and pick my spirit back up. Despite that sad, sad day we went on to actually fertilize several eggs (as a few matured in the lab that day/night) and we ultimately ended up transferring three on day three.
So this time, when I got the go ahead to trigger…I knew I was at the cusp of the rollercoaster and that the next dip could be that one dip that makes you lose your lunch. The trigger was no sweat…except for the fact I had to stay up until midnight to administer it. Yikes! Two needles at midnight administered by my hormonal self when I am lacking coordination, energy and was dying to go to bed two hours earlier…sounds like a recipe for disaster to me! Luckily the nurse had suggested preloading the needles before I got too tired and just pulling them out at midnight (best tip ever).
The night before the retrieval, I took the valium that my clinic hands out and enjoyed a peaceful sleep. Truth be told, I likely didn’t need it as I was pretty calm about the looming procedure…but I am not about to say no to a deep and relaxing sleep either. The nerves only crept in the next day as we walked down the long hallway of the surgical wing, but even in that stressful moment, I kept it together.
I have to say the procedure was pretty run of the mill (I’m an old pro after all). It did feel a bit different this time as I wasn’t as bloated and it was a different doctor. I felt like my drugs wore off part way through…but I am grateful that they were quick to top me up when I asked for a bit more. Within a few minutes (or so it seemed) I was back in my recliner with my follicles and eggs gone and limited cramping.
Now I knew from experience that the endocrinologist would pay me a visit right after and give me a quick update. The difference this time, I was ready, no matter how loopy I felt I wanted to know how many were mature. So, when she popped her head into my recovery area…I was ready. I heard her say 15 eggs (Woo hoo!!) and then she started to apologize (Oh no, what?)…turns out only four were mature in the batch (*sigh* But I guess that is better than one!!)
Not the worst news and not the best news, I was somewhere in the middle and after everything we have been through I am fine with that. I am still at peace.
This morning, the phone rang bright and early and I answered it with nerves galore remembering that this was the morning my floor fell out from under me during round one. Luckily, I was living in a new reality and I knew I had started with only four mature eggs. The report was that a few more had matured in the lab yesterday and they had ICSI’d (injected sperm) into eight and four were confirmed to be fertilized.
Good news! We are holding steady….now to see what tomorrow brings!!