IVF #2: A funny thing happened on the way to the bathroom…

In order to stay sane through the IVF process, one tip is you need to find the funny stuff in-between all the seriousness. Now as most of you know, on Monday I had my retrieval. Every aspect of this retrieval procedure is a well-oiled machine at our clinic. The nurses give the exact same speech, the doctor gives the same pep talk…the only curve balls come from the patients! And this time, I guess I was a good pitcher.

My procedure was scheduled for 11am, so they had us there at 10:30am to get me organized. They apologized that things were a little behind once I had my IV in place…now a little behind in my world is 15 to 30 minutes….at the clinic, a little behind meant five minutes.  Nothing to stress about that is for sure! Despite being behind schedule, I felt like they ushered me into the bathroom and then off to the O.R. room lickety split.

Now the procedure feels like it takes 20 minutes…so worst case I was back in my recliner recuperating by 11:30ish. For an hour, they make you sit there and let the drugs wear off while they pump fluids into your system through an IV. Within an hour the endocrinologist visited with an update…so my husband and I were officially raring to get home and eat some lunch (as I had been on a strict no eating regime since the night before).

I was one of the last retrieval procedures for the day, so needless to say the nurses were more than ready to see me go home too. All that was left, I had to pee. In case you didn’t know…you can’t go home without proving to the masses that everything is working normally first. So close to 1pm the nurse popped her head in and said, “ready?” I obliged and headed off with my IV in tow. I sat and waited…and waited…and waited. I thought about waterfalls, I turned the tap on, I tried every trick in my “make me pee” book – Na “friggin” Da. I exited the washroom with a nurse waiting outside…and I had to admit that nothing had happened. She told me not to worry and loaded me up with another bag of fluids and handed me another box of juice; I was likely just a little dehydrated.

Twenty minutes later, the nurse popped her head in,“ready?” Again, I obliged and prayed to the porcelain gods…it felt like moderate success as I managed to get a teaspoon of fluid to come out…sadly my audience was not satisfied. When I made it back to my recliner room, even my husband was looking at me with eager eyes and was deflated (and hungry) when I said no.

After the third failed attempt it meant that the doctor had to be called and an ultrasound had to be done. Luckily, the ultrasound just showed a bone dry bladder and what appeared to be dust and a rolling tumbleweed. He told me not to worry and ordered another bag of fluids. So, I resigned to my recliner and drank my third box of apple juice since the procedure.

When I asked what the concern would be, they said a small risk during retrieval is nicking the bladder…which would make it impossible to pee. Yikes! Was that me? Not likely as they said the urine would have filled up elsewhere in my body and I would be very bloated and uncomfortable by now. Luckily, I was feeling pretty good and rather was just antsy to get home.

By 2:25pm after four IV fluid bags and many peering glances of hope, success! The two nurses and doctor literally cheered when I came out of the bathroom and my husband’s face had “thank god” written all over it. If I had been able to watch them all on CCTV…I likely would have seen them hovering outside the bathroom door listening for a few drops of anything.

social-eavesdropping-donts

So the moral of the story, if you are gearing up for IVF…make sure to drink plenty of fluids. As no one likes an audience when it’s time to pee.

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3 thoughts on “IVF #2: A funny thing happened on the way to the bathroom…

  1. Haha so funny! I am actually glad you wrote about this because I feel like such an ivf veteran I always just say I have gone pee even when I haven’t so I can go home. Luckily I haven’t had an issue but now I think I will stop cheating the system 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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