What Will Be, Will Be…

Thank you to everyone for their prayers and well wishes last week. I was touched by all the comments from everyone in our lives and this community. The good news is that everything thawed out perfectly and we transferred two “nice looking” day three, nine cell embryos. (The “nice looking” comments were shared by the embryologist just before our little procedure was under way along with “good looking uterus” and “great lining” from the doc and nurse…just the words that every girl hopes to hear as her legs are in the stirrups before being impregnated).

Tomorrow will be 7dp3dt… or rather seven days post three day transfer; so week one is officially under my belt. My beta is scheduled for June 1…so nine days to go! I stayed relatively calm the last week and tried to not read into too many twinges or cramping. Not sure if it had to do with me having the week off or maybe I am still in the honeymoon phase or maybe the fact I feel fairly bloated the last few days is my hopeful sign.

This two week wait is not my first rodeo…and I feel like I know the traps to avoid such as Googling every symptom, testing or getting caught up in those mind circus “what if” thoughts. It is no doubt on my mind, but it’s not always the only thing on my mind which is likely the difference from the last number of go rounds on this crazy ride. I credit my pre-transfer self-help work that I did, such as listening to the “Power of Now” and keeping my therapists mantra/reminder that ‘what will be, will be’ at the forefront of my thoughts.  There isn’t anything I can do to change the outcome at this point, so I can move forward knowing that I have officially done everything that I can do…no regrets.

The other piece of news which could be helping calm the waters is that we officially got our adoption home study paperwork done last week. I dropped off our first draft with edits at the office on Monday and by the end of the week we had our official letter arrive in the mail stating that we were on the waiting list (Woo Hoo!) As much as it is exciting to be on the list (finally), the reality of the long wait (3 years) ahead is deflating to any sense of anticipating excitement. The good news is that at least the clock has started…the hardest part during the home study process was to know that things were moving forward, but the clock still wasn’t running.

Tomorrow I am back to work and I am ready to get back my life back to normal as best I can. Normalcy will help the remaining days of this two week wait to wind down (hopefully quickly) so that we can move forward again in one of two directions…pregnancy or adoption…the best news is that no matter the result we will eventually be parents.