That’s right, today is the day! I can’t believe that it is actually happening. Who would have thought a year ago that we would be in the position to accept direct donated embryos today?
You would think my head would be hectic with thoughts leading up to this morning’s appointment, but I am extremely calm and all those fears I had that I talked about a month ago in previous posts seem to have faded far into the distance. My mind has been eerily calm the last two weeks, which is why I have been a little MIA from the blog. I figured… let the sleeping dog lie…versus spending time digging into something that really wasn’t there for me.
I must say though the lead up to today has been exciting. I gave myself permission to be excited and share and not worry about the results…and that’s exactly what I have been doing. I found myself wanting to be pretty open with close friends as to what we are up to this month and it’s been electrifying to see their enthusiasm. Most people’s jaws hit the floor when we explain how we came to find our donors and that just reminds me how lucky we are in all of this.
Last week, I had a therapist appointment…sort of like a little tune-up in preparation for the two week wait. I hadn’t been to see her since January as she was on maternity leave for a few weeks so I had to bring her up to speed on everything. After I shared all my hopes and fears about this transfer she picked her jaw off the floor and said, “When you talk I can hear the caution in your voice a little, but then there is this positive excitement bursting all around it as though you are in a big crowd of people and you just won the lottery and you desperately want to scream in excitement but can’t.” The visual she gave me has given me a smile for the last week, I had never thought of it that way, she definitely nailed it. I am realistic that the odds of this working are in the 30-40% range, but then there is all this excitement around that as with our embryos the odds were never that good. It is like winning the lottery.
On top of everyone’s excitement, there has also been the excitement of the donating couple. She has been checking in with me by text the last couple of weeks and seeing how I am doing. The other night she said she was super excited for us and couldn’t sleep and I know her husband is feeling the same way too as he was the most excited at the beginning. On top of everything else, I had to thank her for her excitement because it is most definitely contagious.
So if you are reading this post first thing Tuesday morning please send a little positive thaw vibe our way. If its after Tuesday, well I would be grateful for sticky vibes, baby dust or any little prayer our way for the next 2 weeks. My prayer this morning was for both embryos being transferred thaw out safely and then are transferred with the intent to grow, grow, grow.