Re-Springing My Step: IVF

Last week we gave the official go ahead to proceed with IVF treatment in February. This will be our first experience with the treatment. Saying “yes” followed with many emotional feelings I wasn’t expecting – hope, excitement, sadness, fear, anxiety, happiness, loneliness, financial worry, …  I could go on and on as I think my feelings and thoughts change by the hour, if not by the minute.

Last year we attempted 6 rounds of Clomid and 3 rounds of IUI treatments, not to mention – acupuncture, naturopathic treatments, diets and cleanses, chiropractics as well as Bodytalk. While one piece of me always knew I would struggle with fertility, I never thought I would struggle with it this far. I never envisioned IVF treatment in my future.

There are many people out there who have an opinion on the treatment, but through this experience I realize the only opinion that matters is mine and my husband’s. I feel like saying “yes” is a redefining and strengthening moment in knowing who I am and what I am and my marriage is capable of. It is making me have no choice but to let go and put my faith in the process and the universe.

Three years ago, I never knew the emotional toll that infertility takes on a person or the impact it could have on a marriage. Infertility is something that I see now can shape you or tear you apart. I am choosing that this journey is shaping the person I am meant to be and making my marriage rock solid…it scares the hell out of me and I know it is going to be tough some days…but I know we will figure out how to do it and whatever is on the other side I will be grateful for it because I will have stayed true to myself.

So is IVF putting a spring back in my step?  I am not 100% certain yet as some moments feels like there is lead in my shoes while walking through mud, but most of the times I feel like it is springing me quickly forward to hope.

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18 thoughts on “Re-Springing My Step: IVF

  1. Good luck! I was there at the “conception” (implanting) of my best friend’s little girl through ivf, and she’s now a boisterous 2 year old. Sending you some lucky ivf vibes. 😉

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  2. This is going to sound completely insensitive/ignorant but, first, best wishes – I hope it all works out for you…second, I know so many people that thought they’d never get pregnant (went through adoption, etc) but as soon as they ‘relaxed’ (i.e. “gave up”, or “accepted reality” or what ever it is …) they became pregnant. I know this isn’t for everyone but I wanted to throw it out there. Either way…I hope you are successful 🙂

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  3. The beginning of an IVF cycle is overwhelming. After my miscarriage (natural pregnancy) my husband and I decided it was time…we’d tried for three years and had just that one loss. I cried when the giant box of meds showed up at my door because I was scared: of the needles, of messing it up, of it not working. Well, we powered through and we have an amazing son as the result! I documented the journey on my blog if you want to read back through past entries. You aren’t alone!! Good luck!! I’ll be pulling for you!!!!!

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  4. Good luck.it is going to be a difficult journey.. but you will come through. I have been through treatments for infertility myself not ivf but for blocked tubes and problems in ovulation.. i have a healthy son now..just keep the faith and go ahead

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  5. Good luck! I’m glad I found you! I always had a feeling it would take me a while to get pregnant. But I never thought it would be because of Male Infertility. Right now, I’m flip-flopping between excitement and terror. Hopefully by the time CD1 rolls around, there is more excitement than terror!

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  6. Pingback: Poem / Poetry – “Made Whole Again” | toofulltowrite (I've started so I'll finish)

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